Ann Harbour
New project

One common mistake that women make is in expecting men to take

the lead in establishing a relationship. While true to the ideal, these days

passively taking what comes along often results in women wishing to be taken in

hand all too often dating aggressive – even predatory – wolves rather than

assertive men. Smooth talkers do not always make for good husbands or even

decent friends!

A second mistake that women make is in trying to trade up in

men. According to a recent Loveawake dating site study, having found one man capable of satisfying their needs, 60% of married women want to

find someone better. Since the grass tends to appear greener on the other side

of the fence, once women jump over the fence – so to speak – that which they

left often appears to be better than their new relationship. This leads to

regrets and confusion in that the woman begins to doubt her ability to judge


A third mistake is – made more by men than by women, but which

can seriously affect a relationship if made by the woman – in expecting too much

too soon. Patience in relationships is a virtue. Impatience in relationship can

be deadly to relationships – or even in finding someone with whom to establish

a relationship.

A fourth mistake is – made by men as much as women – in trying

to change the rules of the relationship after the wedding. This nasty little

surprise has wrecked more marriages than seashells on the seashore. Like trying

to trade up in men, past failed relationships can adversely affect a woman's

ability to adequately appraise men.

A little honesty can go a long way in improving one's chances

for success. Conversely, someone incapable of appreciating honesty also lacks

the empathy necessary for a long-term relationship.

To establish a workable relationship, a woman needs to look for

a man who really wants her as a person. Acceptance is as much of the

formulation for a satisfactory relationship as being taken in hand for an

old-fashioned straightening out. Some aspects of a woman's personality are not

amenable to altering by thrashing.

Conversely, even among dire warnings to the contrary, the

courageous man is seldom totally averse to soundly smacking the bottom of a

woman whom he really wants to keep if he finds her behavior detrimental to

their relationship.

Still, there are no perfect men any more than there are perfect

women in this world. As more than a few wise observers have pointed out, “If

you found the truly perfect man [or woman] would he [or she] really want to

have anything to do with you?”

Good marriages are made. Spontaneous generation of first-class

marriages is about as common as the spontaneous generation of viable life

forms! Marriages supposedly made in heaven require a tremendous amount of work

on earth.

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