The most difficult decision that has to be taken after divorce is about which spouse will stay in the marital home and who will move out, if the house is not a rented property. Whether you choose to stay in the house or leave the residence the relationship will have painful memories of the past. When children are involved then decision making becomes rougher as their feelings have to be kept in mind as every decision of the adults will have a deep impact of life of children. During this difficult period if you have a supportive family or friends that can help you get over the relationship then you start life again on a fresh note. Whether you are staying in the same house or moving out it is best to get on with life and make changes that will bring positive energy back into your life. Here are a few simple changes that can be made to your life and abode to get things back on track and move on with other important priorities.
Once the divorce is through and things are finally over between both partners you could be filled with an overwhelming sense of relief or heartbreak depending on circumstances surrounding the separation. But now the next step forward is to move on in life as a single person without anyone commenting on your decisions or choices in life. Every divorce comes with a sense of personal loss which affects both individuals and the right approach is to avoid lingering memories that can spoil your future relationships.
If you are leaving the house then it can be a cathartic experience as you can make a fresh beginning in a new house but if you are staying back then make changes according to plan that will remove all memories of the past. Take time off to sit down and make plans about the future it the divorce has come as a complete shock and do not indulge in self-pity or guilt pangs as that road leads downhill.
The only way to move forward after a divorce is to start focusing on your life and take the next few months as an explorative phase to understand priorities. If you are staying back at the house then mortgage payments and taxes have to be taken into consideration besides your living expenses. Instead of getting emotional about financial matters make a detailed budget about managing your expenses and income independently for the forthcoming years and then enter into a divorce settlement about staying in the house and paying for it.
The house is all yours and it is time to throw away those boring furnishings and other stuff that your better half thought were good for the house. Try out your culinary skills and call friends over for a gathering that you missed as your wife did not approve of them. Sleep with your legs up on the sofa and get a trendy new tablecloth that is more your style.
If you are leaving the house with personal belongings then choose a home that meets your needs and will help in getting rid of the bitterness. To move forward in life treat your past as a learning experience and surround yourself with positive people and atmosphere. Do not waste your energy by thinking about the house you have lost but instead concentrate on decorating your new house to suit your temperament and style.
A semi furnished home like this in minimalist style with a beautiful garden and wide veranda is ideal for a single person to maintain and enjoy the solitude. Keep budget in mind whenever you are moving to a new house as management and maintenance is entirely your responsibility. If you are shifting with children then find a neighborhood with parks and ample place for children to play around. When you have a garden like this around the house then taking care of flower and vegetable plants and seeing them grow will help you live life with renewed energy.
Once you have settled down in the house that is entirely yours either with or without children surround the place with things that were stacked in packing boxes just because your wife considered them tasteless. These objects can bring you happiness and nostalgia about pleasant times with friends and spouse before things became bitter between both of you. Take out all your old movie video discs and display them proudly along with your book collection.
Pictures of your childhood and memorabilia given by parents or grandparents can be set up on the living room and dining area to add vibrancy to the house. The deep tones of decorative blue wide sofa are enhanced with rustic rugs and pillow covers that have been presented by grandparents. Antique clock and other small artifacts like family photographs and statues on the bookshelf will help you to think about happy memories of years before you were married.
If you had an aggressive partner then in all probability you would not have been able to play an active part in decorating the house. Did you want to keep an antique work table and chair in the bedroom or flowers pots on the living room or what about owning a dog? Now you have the freedom to try out these wishes without any constraints. An all blue color palette brings serenity and peace to this bedroom decorated with a heavy chest of drawers and bed. The room designed by Emmanuelle Diebold may seem sparse and too simple to few people but that this is how most singles live with elements that are closer to their heart and style. Instead of family pictures have landscapes and other unique electrical gadgets and exercise equipment that were denied to you as a married man.
After divorce life can bring more responsibilities if you want to manage the kids yourself without any support from friends and family. But if the children are being raised by your partner separately and you are just paying for their upkeep then try to retain only essentials of their stuff that they may want to take back at a later stage. Children memorabilia comprising of furniture and toys can bring back painful memories of happier times so it is best to keep away children beds, toys and other furniture. In these circumstances ask your wife and other family members to cart away as much materials as possible that can be used in their homes so you can put your individual stamp on all rooms. It is indeed tough to live in the same house after your wife and children have left with their belongings as the emptiness is depressing.
If the law has given her the children then they are not likely to come back soon so you have to accept that and try to make the best of time that is allotted during their visit. When you shift into a new house and children are likely to visit you from time to time then create a separate area for them to relax. This will make it clear that you are not bitter after the divorce and want to retain an amicable atmosphere for kids to grow up in a normal manner. Even if you live in a small house create a bedroom and play area where they can relax and not feel guilty about not staying with their mom.
This room may have a low roof but its simplistic layout shows the care and affection you as a parent have for their smallest needs. A pretty room like this in muted shades of grey and yellow can help you to enjoy time with children and they can also look forward to every visit without any worries.
For more ideas on accepting changes in your life after divorce and enjoying single status again you can refer to this interesting ideabook.